The above relics were leftovers (overlooked in the rush *wink*) from when our new employer moved the IT operations department to a different floor of our building. When I first started working at this office almost three years ago, we spent the better part of a month hauling this god awful equipment around during floor layout changes. Oh the horrible memories of figuring out what goes where, and what connects to what, and what the hell is this.

We've all had days where we just want to disappear from sight, but can't honestly say I've ever considered this. A still from Sofia Hulten's video Grey Area where she dresses in a grey flannel suit and hides in the most unlikely places in an office: Gray carpets, open umbrellas, and filing cabinets.

In the office I've always been one to "borrow" my neighbours pen, re-use file folders found in the trash and manufacture makeshift notebooks out of the pile of abandoned one sided print-outs. In other words I've never had much use for the coveted office supplies catalog, the administrative assistance bible, the sacred volume marked with one quarter size green, yellow and light-blue post-it notes. Multicoloured highlighters don't interest me let alone an entire box of multicoloured highlighters.

I was asked for my recommendation in a notebook case, one of those foam sleeves that show an egg safely being dropped on it in the brochure. Easily I was able to recommend the case I use for my powerbook but wanting to give a few more options I sought out the precious Askul office supplies catalog. A language note: Askul is short for ashita kuru (arrive tomorrow).

This catalog has everything. I'm not just talking about items like stationary supplies, thirty plus models of calculator, office furniture or computer Peripherals, but things that just don't conjure up images of the workplace when thought of.

How about expensive Godiva chocolates? The coffee and espresso machines I get, but seeing that I'm rarely able to obtain hot water for my cup noodle lunches it makes me skeptical about the espresso macchiato. In offices that buy this equipment who gets to play barista? Is it a rotating duty? And if so, who will fulfill their duties while listening to long-winded orders of Caffè Con Panna and decaf, non-fat caramel lattes. How will they file their TPS reports when they're warming up my poppy seed banana pound cake?

I'm guessing the disposable paper plates and chop sticks are for company picnics, but what's with the window washer, Drano and pine solvents? I've never seen the building janitor doggy-earring any of these pages. But what really scares me is the shampoo, rinse and condition, tub mildew killer and bath towel sets. All we need now are bunk beds and a good cavity fighting toothpaste, all of which I hear can be special ordered, and we never have to go home again. So next time you jokingly say "I've been living at the office lately." you can mean it literally.

I've spent the last three and a half minutes redecorating my desk in the effort to make more from less. I removed all books from the corner leaving the lonely brick that held them up against the side of the removable partition separating my world from that of the lotus notes administrator. I un-tacked a clipped a magazine page from Transworld Skateboarding on my front wall and arranged the thumbtacks in a straight line symbolizing where the backside nose grind 180 photograph used to lie. And as a finishing touch I took a rag and wiped down the table top leaving two strategically placed coffee cup rings in the right front portion of my desk, symbolizing the eternal circle of life and also where I usually put my coffee.

When I was a kid I remember asking my Dad what he did at work. "Drink coffee," he replied. What might I say? "Papa plays quake honney. And sometimes, just sometimes Age of Empires." Turns out my father was a stationary engineer at a paper mill, and drank coffee.

In other news, been watching a lot of teletubbies lately and did you know the ABC song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same exact song!

I'm in pain! Feels like a dull butter knife has been jabbed in between both of my shoulder blades and there are rusty screws, no nails being nailed into my neck. The reason you ask is this website. I feel like i have been working on it non stop for the last week and my arms and wrists are locked in a forward position. I had a weblog at my old site but it was just text and the the design, well there was none. Just so you know I am not a professional web guru, incase you haven't figured that one out yet (very far from it). Now where was I... oh yeah the pain! I have horrible posture and sitting infront of a computer all day doesn't help, but this blogging thing is addicting. I had better get some exercise this weekend.